Harold & Kumar

so you know, while i was searching around the web for stuff awhile back, i came upon Harold & Kumar. i remembered that it was a show my coz told me bout, so i decided, hey wth, lets see what its all about. so i went to find it. so, there are two movies actually,

Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle

and

Harold & Kumar: Escape From Guantanamo Bay

interesting posters? not really. but damn are the movies funny. i'm not here to spoiler any plots, so this shall be a spoiler free review! so read on without fear!

Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle. the first time i saw this i was like dude. whats a white castle? i knew it had weed in it... so i thought, is this just about two guys getting high and going on some road-trip to some non-existent place?

well, i was wrong. at least that about the non-existent part. White Castle is apparently a fast food joint. stars Harold (john cho, korean) and Kumar (kal penn, indian) have a sudden (and perhaps weed-induced) craving for burgers, and decide to have White Castle sliders. after the resolution that they will not give up until they have white castles in their stomachs, they're off on a wildly madcap and at times, ridiculous trip to get those White Castle burgers. there are issues explored in the film(i think), like racism, true love, police brutality, the unfair hierarchal working system we have to live with... but i'm just gonna call a spade a spade. it is a comedy. the issues addressed do add a layer of thought-provoking classiness to it, but lets be honest. no matter how much u try to decorate your bathroom, a toilet is a toilet. White Castle is an outright comedy that, while crude and blunt, is actually funny. perhaps its the hapless losers that are Harold and Kumar (which many of us can relate to). perhaps its the film's unreserved, and unabashed usage of comedic situations, without trying to be pretentiously classy. perhaps its Neil Fucking Patrick Harris. but damn this is a comedy.

face it guys. perhaps the first 2.. or 30 love-comedies are funny. but you're bound to get sick of the lame and cliche you-are-totally-not-the-type-of-girl-i'll-like-but-through-a-series-of-boring-ass-predictable-events-we-fall-in-love-happily-ever-after plot. the comedy? seriously? woops i just dropped my girlfriend on the floor/in the water/out a plane. woops i fell off my bike/horse/bed. woops i just splashed my mother-in-law in the face with lemonade/beer/some-unwashable-substance/pee(ok, i made this one up. but even then it would be boring.). my god, these movies make me want to punch kittens.

so when i finally managed to dig out this historic gem (released 9 may 2008 i think), and watch it, i thanked the gods themselves(oh and my coz). this is what comedy should be about. weed, bongs, physical violence and boobs. yes, there are boobs in this movie so u squeamish types, i'm sorry, please try somewhere else. i hear Cats & Dogs is out. or something.

the second movie is pretty much the same as the first, just larger scale. bigger settings(from texas to amsterdam), wider issues(terrorism, governmental corruption), and... well, more bong-smoking, tit-squeezing and laugh-inducing shit. seriously. i don't wanna spoiler it for any of you guys out there who will wanna go see these movies, but fuck, they meet the fucking Ku Klux Klan, and Neil Patrick Harris rides a Fucking unicorn. you just gotta check it out man.

movie reviewing's harder than i thought:/

I'm so pissed off i'm posting part two of Tchoukball

so i felt bad being so one-sided and biased. so i went to find out more about it. and came across this article. its an interview of a national tchoukball player. and i almost shat bricks.

here's an excerpt.

"E: Explain tchoukball in 10 words or less.
M: It is a sport which displays sportsmanship.

E: Explain tchoukball in 8 words (to your grandmother).
M: Tchoukball is played without body contact, don’t worry!!

E: Tell us what tchoukball is to you in 6 words.
M: It is a gift from God."

and

"E: Why tchoukball? What is it about tchoukball that attracts you?
M: I suppose it’s the game play and the amount of improvement we can gain from the better players. We can always keep improving and I get to build more friendship other than through school.

E: How are you different now because of tchoukball?
M: I am physically healthier and stronger due to the trainings. And emotionally happier. And spiritually comforted."

Tchoukball

teacher's day rehearsal!

was damn tiring. dunno why. maybe wearing jeans for 5 hours in hall like an oven? playing through a 3 song playlist under (weird coloured) spotlights twice? or maybe the PE today morning, where we lost at tchoukball?

tchoukball. lemme give a short explanation of what it is for those of u who aren't sure what it is:

think captain's ball. now, replace each catcher, or "captain" with a trampoline at 45 degrees aimed the sky. each team only has three passes to score. the opponent team cannot intercept, or interrupt ur pass to ur teammate. to score, you have to throw the ball at the trampoline, and make sure no one on the opponent team catches it. oh, and ur can score either side's trampoline. also, the moment you drop the ball possession changes to the opponent. and if u miss your shot at the trampoline, point goes to the opponent. say what?

hey, i'm sure the game has its fans, and its supporters. i'm cool with that. not everyone likes basketball. so just a fair warning: this will be a biased and one-sided rant AGAINST tchoukball.

with that out of the way...

WHAT THE TCHOUK?

seriously. after my first time playing the game, it reminded me of chess. u have to plan ur player placement properly so as to use the three passes to get close enough to the goal. then you can't move with the ball(at least our teacher didn't allow us to), and you can't intercept if u see that some opponent near you is going to get the ball. also, dropping the ball causes possession to change. do you know how restricting these rules are?! you got ur ball, and ur like, two steps too far from the goal to make a confident shot... and its an impassable distance. but if u shoot, and miss, the opponent gains a point. wha-? and you can't intercept passes... seriously? i can only stand there helplessly as the opponent gets the ball? wow. and dropping the ball changes the ball? have you seen the size of that thing? its like using chopsticks to pick up a pea. frustrating and potentially stroke-inducing.

to be honest, this game is as far from a team sport as i know. to my primitive and stereotypical mind, a team sport is an activity(see, activity. u actually are ACTIVE) which involves skill, reflexes, physical ability, cooperation, and flow. flow... means the pacing, the speed of the games. look at soccer. basketball. hockey. these team games all have one thing in common; they're competitive and fast-paced. thats what team sports are about! working together effectively and efficiently in the heat of the moment.

tchoukball... has no flow. i mean, maybe, if u do find some reason to embrace and love this game(sorry eve), maybe u can be familiar enough to play a smooth flowing game. but to be honest, at our level, having never played tchoukball before, its an unnecessarily complicated and slow paced game. u need to calm down and find where your players are, and as long as they're in a good position, u can just pass. there's no faking out, there's no distracting, there's no reflex for intercepting. no matter how bad or obvious the pass, u can only watch helplessly as it lands into the guy next to you's arms.

and the scoring system. seriously? you give the other team a point if we miss? how nonsensical and unfair. it doesn't encourage enthusiasm, it encourages the developing of a tactical sniper's aim. to get the correct angle to shoot the ball so the rebound will be uncatchable. one word... no, TWO words. fucking dumb.

hey, you can say its a non-contact game, its a tactical game, its a slow-paced game, its a thinking game.... if i want all that i'll be grabbing ivory-carved, horse-shaped chess pieces, not a ball. to put it nicely, its a game that discourages newcomers with its excessive and superfluous rules. it requires higher-level thinking and tactical deployment that are rarely seen in other sports. to put it frankly, its a game that tries too hard to stand out by doing the opposite of everything popular sports are. there's reason why there's isn't an MP3 that DOESN'T play songs smoothly, or a car that CANNOT move. if basketball, rugby, american football, are all such popular games, why purposely try to be everything they're not? i can just imagine the guy who invented this game.

Tchoukball Inventor: 'i need to stand out! i shall invent a brand new game thats completely unique and different from all things fun! i shall make it slow and podding and have the rules bog down the flow of the game as much as possible!'

Random Passerby: 'dude, someone already invented that. its called chess. and even chess has a timer to make it go faster.'

Tchoukball Inventor: 'damnit! fine, then i shall add in... a ball! thats different from chess! and... i shall add in trampolines! everyone love's trampolines! and i shall make it a team sport so i can play it together with my friends! mmm... just need to find some friends...'

and, whats up with the name tchoukball? tchouk? what the hell is that? sounds like some sad, faraway alien race who haven't evolved enough to come up with a decent name for themselves. or is that the sound made when u score? wait, that's basketball.

so what i mean is, i don't get this game at all. AT ALL. all games have a primal, simple goal that draws people to them. basketball, soccer, hockey... to get the ball into the net. rugby, american football, baseball... to get the ball to a certain area. even solo sports, golf, archery... to get the ball or arrow to a hole or a bullseye. its a very basic and simple attraction. tchoukball... bounce the ball off a trampoline and hope to God no one catches it.

and why the fucking trampoline?! seriously?!

in a nutshell, WHAT THE TCHOUK?

P.S. lol, i ended up not talking bout teacher's day rehearsal at all. nvm, i'll blog it after the performance itself.

twisted... pretzels!!

an empty bed, an empty chair.

an empty house, an empty life.

an empty heart, an empty love.

an empty promise, an empty hope.

in my eyes, only you.

brown eyes, like mine.

loved ice cream, like me.

watched stars in the sky, with me.

alone without family, like me.

in a world of lies, what is real?

a kiss a touch

a caring smile

in bed at night, caressing, loving.

not a word, not a sound, you left.

you left.

outside his house

silent, unmoving, watching

watching. a light on

in the bedroom

shadows moving, caressing, loving.

who are you?

who are you?

anger burns, pain chills.

the door comes down

i rush up

the stairs and stop it.

since we were young

in love, in love.

blade of betrayal, i return it.

stabbing, twisting but things

will never be the same.

broken love, broken mirror

always cracks, always cracks.

why, sister dearest?

why?

emo nemo zero hero!

~

ivory dress pooled around her knees.

her face of anguish; of unchained fear.
clasping his hand, she cries "don't go"

but he turns away; she will never be whole.

suitcase packed, memories of the years

are all thats left. a home of tears.

little Jane in the doorway, blanket in her hand.

where, she whispers, where is daddy going?

once was love, support, care

now a lonely bed, a pillow, a chair.

a courtship of passion, of desire sang

in the end, nothing but embers twisting, dying.

pills and knives and skyscrapers tall,

took on new meaning as her despair deepened.

mummy mummy, i want a story.

was all that kept her sane, that kept her going.

and then, a sliver of hope, a hand so firm.

another, perhaps, but never him.

let me in, he whispers, open your heart.

but it won't be easy, hidden in the dark.

slowly trusting, her hand reaches out

a part in tears, the other in bliss.

he will hurt you again, the past cries.

let him, for i am stronger; i will not hide.

~

random poem... this is fun:)

vi...wait for it... waaait for it... deo! mmm that didn't work very well.

beautiful song. beautiful perfomance.

beautiful love.

--5 dollars--

t'was not complicated,

nor overly long

but a simple tale
of a boy and a gal.

it was on a beach i chanced

upon such beauty

peerless and absolute

as you shall soon see.

she had eyes of sapphire

lips crimson like fire.

her skin was porcelain,

her bearing, of a saint.

with a smile so beautiful

she beckoned me over

and whispered softly,

'have you got 5 dollars?'

puzzled i grinned,

and pulled out five coins

our hands touched as i passed it over

and i felt a stir in my groin.

'so what are u gonna spend

that 5 dollars on?'

'oh nothing much...

just some flavored condoms.'

eyes starting to widen

as i let out a squeak.

am i hallucinating

or is she coming onto me?!

my palms got sweaty

as i looked nervously away

'oh, whatever for,

if ask i may.'

'well, what do you think'

she whispered seductively.

oh my god!

her voice is so sexy!

'um,' i stammered

excited and eager

'i think its for sex...'

and i started to tear.

because you see

i'm so old i'm embarrassed

forty years old

forty one this august.

since i was a kid

everyone called me a nerd.

with my socks pulled high

i guess i am, in every sense of the word.

thus its no surprise

when i say i'm a virgin.

when u're at my age

i think that's a sin.

so i wiped away my tears of joy

and grabbed her by the hand.

'come my sweet maiden,

let's make love in the sand!'

as i gazed into her eyes

i was so happy i could sing!

i'm going to lose my virginity,

to this alarm clock's ring.

oh. damn it.

--5 dollars--

arty farty monkey baby lovey dovey wishy washy

"as the sky turns an autumn red, our love fades into the dying light."

i feel very... nua. lol. as in, that feeling where u dun feel like doing anything, just melting and relaxing. sorta like an ice cream. haha. i get this way alot, especially during sunsets. theres just something about it:) then recently our GP teacher asked us to read Martin Luther King's "I have a dream speech" and damn, it was chock full of metaphors, descriptions, feeling... at the risk of being cliche, i'd say that even without its aim of liberating Negroes, its still a moving and powerful speech, able to touch the emotions we've buried in the face of logic and efficiency. and i remembered that i like to do such stuff too, way back when. so i decided that i might as well brush up... and what better subject than the sunset:)

Sunset. A time of beauty, where we celebrate an ending, rather than a start. As the radiant sun rests, it takes on a red hue of the deepest maroon, yet at the same time, the brightest amaranth. the sight is soothing, as it brings upon a quiet contemplation of life; of its impermanence, of its strength, of its elegance. "Life isn't about how many breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away." And that is true beauty. A flare of passion and love, an instant of inspiration and awe, a dash of grace and abandon is all it takes for one to feel alive.

Sunset. The moment whereupon life-giving light, in its dying moments, exude an illustrious aura, captivating, entrancing all that watch, before fading into a silent darkness, leaving us with an emptiness. An emptiness that isn't at all regretful or uneasy, but calming and comforting.

Sunset. In its crimson glory, it is more valuable than the most resplendent diamond, more fervent than the most passionate love. Its delicate allure is akin to that of a translucent dewdrop upon a beryl blade of grass at first dawn; of the delightful chirping of swallows as they flit around in playful abandon; of the the peaceful sapphire of an ocean framed by soft, silk sand. It is Nature as its zenith. It is a phenomenon of transcendent beauty, made all that more precious in its fleeting.

Sunset. Isn't it ironic how, despite its ephemeral nature, gazing upon it makes one lose all urgency as the world becomes irrelevant in the face of such everlasting yet evanescent beauty? Isn't it ironic how, the loneliness and the unknown it signals adds to its captivating lure? Isn't it ironic how, its inevitability makes one feel abysmally unimportant yet immeasurably intrinsic?

whew. that was... quite refreshing. much better than the super dull and repetitive econs essays and history essays. no offence! but i'm getting rusty:/ had to check thesaurus for fleeting and beauty. haiz. need to get writing more!

was going to deal with the subject of love, but i feel all arty-fartied out. i'll do it some other time:) today's post is quite short, so i leave you with this youtube video! personally i don't like clicking on video links, cos they load slow on third party websites.... but its worth it! check it out! :) :) :)

oh and one last thing, i found this on my old blog. and i thought it was cool:) so i'm gonna repost it here:)

the blur of the focused

the burn of the freezing

the hope of the damned

the joy of the grieving

the pain of the numb

the hate of the virtuous

the love of the cynic.

not one, not two, but four posts!

well. fourth post and counting.

not much today. free, so thought i'd update.

u know how awhile back... ok actually like, two posts or so back. u can just go see it. but anyway, awhile back i was really sian of studying, and talked about how i tried but its hard and all that?

guess what, its still true.

lol. seriously though, studying is sian, and always will be. and thats whats different. i've made my peace with that. rather than be a fish who complains about the flow of the river, i just go with it. but the thing is, is this part of losing myself?

look, i've been a staunch member of the ASCIKIAGLOH. the Anti-School-Cos-It-Kills-Individuality-And-Gives-Lots-Of-Homework. now, u may dismiss this as bullshit, but look around u, and i'm sure u will find someone who's like that. the ASCIKIAGLOH is actually only a subgroup from the main body, the IHSIG (I-Hate-School-In-General). i'm glad to say we have 90% of the student population under the IHSIG flag! (the other 10% wears high socks. ) oh and btw, i bet u tried pronouncing ASCIKIAGLOH. in fact, statistics say that in the face of an acronym with more than 3 vowels, the average person will attempt to pronounce it.

ok, but point is, i've always seen school, especially Singapore's, as a giant melting pot. that maybe a good thing (see America), but i think it sucks. i'm all up for individuality and uniqueness. i believe everyone is born unique. everyone has a unique talent. for instance, i have a unique talent for pissing people off. its god-given. i can look at u, and guess with 85% accuracy what will piss u off.

but seriously, right? everyone's born unique. but our schools hardly take this into account. take Economics for instance. do u think it takes into account ur unique perspective? no, it crams a format, fixed content, a fixed structure as far down ur throat as it'll go, gives u pen and paper, and grades u on how much of that crap u can spit up in a set time limit. what we learn in class isn't how to put our own views and understanding of the world economy into prose that inspires new perspectives, its how the education system wants u to write so that u'll get an A. i mean come on, am i the only one who sees this? we go to an education system, it teaches us how to write so we'll get a good grade from its own exam, and seriously, we come out not having learnt anything of practical use. i got this image in my head right now. education is this giant talking head, and its saying "i'll force u to learn completely irrelevant stuff for 6 years or more so that i can give u this certificate and u can go get a job". and u have no choice. because society is that fucked up. how should, a job that counts on ur ability argue for the rights of ur client, got to do with freaking differentiation? yet we have to learn it.

it is at this point that i find myself taking up the commonly-perceived as childish argument that we should be allowed to take the course we want from young. why go to secondary school and JC just to learn the same thing as everyone else and get melted together? honestly, i believe my practical education ended at p6, when i learned how to read and write both english and chinese, and enough maths to order my own meal without bringing too little money.

why can't i choose to be a writer and focus on that from the age of 10? because i won't be mature enough to decide? fine, give me the option to switch when i find that its not working out then. cos thats what education is about, isn't it? we should learn things we're interested in, not learn things some guy in parliament thinks we should learn. this is my idea of a perfect education system.

we get basic training how to read, write, spell, talk, count... all the basics of life. basically primary school. then we go to educationary school (see how i made the pun, with the education plus secondary, cos i think this is the real type of education and not... ah forget it.) we pick from an entire list of subjects and the description of the subject will include what taking that subject will help u become. for instance, one such subject description should look like this.

Further English.

This is a subject which educates u extensively in the art of the english language; its execution, its style, its practicality and its beauty. its history is optional. people who want to be Lawyers, Writers, Actors, Songwriters, Poets Etc, should take this subject. people who want to be Accountants, Mathematicians, Scientists, Businessmen Etc should fuck off and die. (i'm joking. i dun get the draw of those jobs, but i respect ur choice:) )

then we go on and take the subject. then we can take any amount of subjects we want, like lawyers can take further english, further history, further chinese, further debating etc etc to help him in his job. this goes on for 2 to 5 years, depending on the subjects u choose. then u go onto pre-work education. where u actually choose specific training in ur job. like if u want to be a teacher, u go to teacher school. u want to be a writer u go to writer school. u want to be a tele-marketer u go to really-annoying-people school. etc. then after u complete that, u have a choice to further ur studies in further education, which allows u to go overseas andstuff etc etc to learn more. and if u feel that ur chosen line isnt really that appealing, u get a choice to try again.

to me, i think that would be the perfect education system. i mean, u force me to take 2 sciences and 2 arts in secondary? for nuts? if i aim to be a writer, or an english teacher, why the hell would i need to learn science? isnt that a waste of manpower and time? honestly. u want well rounded? then how come the economy isn't like that. (i take a breath here to give a warning. economics stuff coming up now. if u're allergic to any form of economics, please skip ahead.)how come singapore doesn't produce our own crops, make our own water? because its inefficient and stupid. if we can get all this by trading, then we can all specialize then everyone gains. but our education system insists on wasting our time with trivial and irrelevant stuff. seriously. if u're a doctor, knowing whether or not singapore relies on exchange rate or interest rate policy isn't going to help u.

the education system does streamline throughout the years, but way too slowly. and even at uni, ur final stop, it still only gives u subjects. it doesnt give u career choices. sociology? sounds interesting. the study of human behavior? cool. what am i going to be with a sociology degree? um, i dunno. thats how it is. its interesting how they can give u such an in depth look into what it is, how they will teach it to you, how u can excel in it, how u can learn the same subject but in different countries, but they never tell u what job it'll help u get on the brochure. isnt that what education is for? for u to get a job?

the biggest irony though, is that we often dun get the job out education aims us at. like i heard about once, i forgot who, but he got a degree in economics, and ended up being a primary school teacher teaching english and science and arts. huh.

but going back to my point, i've accepted all this and now work doesn't seem to so evil and oppressive now. i tell myself, after i graduate and hopefully go university(hopefully hopefully hopefully), i'll really pursue my dreams. but is this acceptance the first step to becoming one of the mindless fish that swims out of the river of education into the sea of practicality? (ok that was quite bad, sorry). i dunno. and i dunno what scares me more, that accepting all this and continuing to study may make me into a brainwashed product of our education system with no individuality, or that even after typing out all this, i want to accept because its easier.

anyways, i dunno bout u, but i think that was a whole load of horsecrap of what i feel and think about the education system. if u feel i've wasted ur time, i'm sincerely sorry and will try to write better stuff next time. :) hope it wasn't too bad and cya next time:)